........is a way of coping (for me, anyway).
Allow self time to wake up, feel the train crash feeling and then lie in the dark and hide = 4 units
Domestic duties - sketchy, but therapeutic and familiar = several units depending on what needs doing
Look at the blog, comments and e mails = 10 units (my favourite pastime)
Talk to Brian (sorry, Ella - have become slightly mad/madder person who talks to self and cats!) = 1 unit
Sort stuff for Thursday = varying units
Watch mindless TV (Don't panic all, have still not reached depths of Jeremy Kyle) = too many units
Listening to music that reminds me of Ella = lots of units
..and so on. So all those units put together mean we have made it through the first week - just.
x
Dearest Jo, such an incredibly difficult time, but glad to hear that you are staying away from Jeremy Kyle :)
ReplyDeleteTurn that music up loud and know that you are in many people's thoughts.
Anna xxx
I hope you are enjoying the music Jo, I know I have been xxx
ReplyDeleteI was listening to the radio or watching TV yesterday(can't remember which) but it was all about how music is one of the first and last recognitions to us in life...... Babies respond to it before speech, and those with dementia respond to it well after they have lost the ability to speak and communicate. This tells me music is therapy in all sorts of ways, so I think it's brilliant that you are listening to loads of music Jo(particularly as Ella was such a lover of it)...... TV (not JK!) has its place and can be therapeutic, but it does not engage with your mind and spirit in the way music can and clearly does with you. More downloaded CDs from Uncle Jim coming your way!
ReplyDeleteYou have such a wonderful way of expressing your feelings,Jo. I hope you carry on using this gift and I'm glad it still helps you to get through the days. Thinking of you now, tomorrow and in future. Barbara (the German - since you can't READ the accent!)
ReplyDeleteBless - Gaynor and Ian just arrived so feeling calmer....
DeleteI recommend reading as well Jo. Novels to try to get lost in someone else’s story (my Mum read hundreds of books when she was sick…temporary escapism...maybe one for later), maybe some Buddhist and/or Spiritual Readings will also help...I really believe that the body and mind is just one part of the journey and the soul and 'being' is eternal. Its hippie, dippy but it’s irrelevant what your beliefs are, whether it is a truth or not (it cannot be proved, just felt) it can be comforting. I really believe in all this. Lots of love Xx
ReplyDeleteYou are doing brilliantly with your coping strategies, Jo. Thanks for sharing them...you have an amazing gift for honest, clear communication. Thinking of you during these surreal times.
ReplyDeleteSo pleased you are still writing Jo ... I, and many others I suspect, really appreciate the insights and the coping mechanisms you seem to find from somewhere within what must be a very dark space at the moment. I do so hope they will work their magic on you too. My thoughts with you tomorrow. xxx
ReplyDeleteSending al my love to you all for tomorrow, you will continually be in my thoughts xxx
ReplyDeleteSClub7 will always remind me of Ella. That wonderful trip to Birmingham to see them when she wanted so much to stand up and dance and the officials kept telling the girls to sit down. Sending lots of love, Lxx
ReplyDeleteJo, we will be thinking of you tomorrow - I will be spending a few minutes sitting quietly in Worcester Cathedral thinking of you and Ella. And keep talking to and cuddling Brian - thats what pets are for! Linda and Rob Newton.
ReplyDeleteAs ever Jo, you are showing what a truly amazing woman you are, thank you for giving us this blog and for continuing to write, believe me it not only helps you but supports us all and that is a feat of epic proportions given all you are going through - listening to music seems to be a common theme for us all where remembering Ella is concerned, I will never forget when she was small her telling me she couldn't sing and then trying her hardest to sing horribly out of tune to convince me over and over again! Funny for someone who adored music :0) Glad Gaynor and Ian are there with you See you tomorrow my lovely Suzy xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteSmiles, laughter, tears, memories and love...... Mum's are strong and true we love our children and never think we will not have them close. You will wear Ella in your mind, body and soul she will never be far away Jo. My thoughts are with you now and tomorrow and Rob will there to hug you from both of us!
ReplyDeleteJayne
I'm not sure if you've seen this Jo... http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01p3c8w/imagine..._Winter_2012_How_Music_Makes_Us_Feel/
ReplyDeletebut was watching it tonight and thinking about what you were saying about music here. It really can help in all manner of ways.
Will be good to give Ella a special send off, to meet lots of people who will all have different fond memories of her and to listen to the music she most enjoyed. Thinking of you lots
xxxxxx
weird, not sure why it spaced out all those letters! Sorry about that, I can actually hear Ella's voice saying "you're such an old lady" to me, because I never have been that good with technology, always seems to go wrong! Woopsy. xx
ReplyDeleteTo Jo, Sophie & Bob
ReplyDeleteElla has brought the sunshine for you all today.
Will be thinking of you all..not just today.
Much love
Sarah xx
Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.
ReplyDeleteJust keep on going .... And keep on going. You have done a wonderful thing with having and caring for Ella. It will be worth it again ... Keep on going. Lots of people love you and your family ... That's the truth xxx
ReplyDelete