Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Where has Ella gone.....

...so this was the bit I said - to be honest, I am not sure what I really think in terms of "life after" and all that stuff.   But it helps me to think about Ella doing all the things she loved doing - rather than things she had not chosen to do, but had to do -  hospital visits and stays, chemo regimes, scans, x rays, sitting in on Saturday nights and on and on......


Her breathing slowed (I think) and was no longer as noisy, and then it stopped, just like that.  Unbelievable.  I was holding her hand, trying to pull her back.  “That’s it Jo, she’s gone”.   But gone where?

She has gone
To design and build the most extraordinary structures and buildings in the sky
To go to countless Green Day concerts and festivals
To talk endlessly to her friends
To light the biggest BBQ’s imaginable
To drink the longest and coldest gin and tonics
To eat more Nachos and Nandos Chicken than you can imagine
To surf the biggest waves
To lie on the most beautiful beaches
To always have Brian by her side
To fly to the stars and see the moon on her way

Beautiful Ella Redman -

“Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours.”

13 comments:

  1. No words can say how much your amazing words & courage inspires others, Ella was so fortunate to have u and Sophie as you were to have her, she will most certainly be with you forever just out if sight for now

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  2. Nobody could possibly think of a better paradise for Ella, Jo - so right! xxx

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  3. thank you so much for sharing all these with us Jo , most especially your words, they are so inspiring .I feel sure she has gone to do all these things she loved doing and that Ella's love will continue to be felt forever around us and within us,
    Jane xx

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  4. Such beautiful words Jo. I take comfort in the thought that it doesn't end here - during Ellas service we were sitting upstairs next to a large window. When you spoke about Ella building extraordinary structures in the sky I looked up at the clouds and they were an unusual mix of straight lines and curves criss-crossing each other, as if she had already started. xxx

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  5. Doesn't really matter what you think about "life after" Jo ...... It's the spirit of Ella that is important and which lives on, and if that is comforting to you (and others I suspect) then so be it....... Sounds fine to me...... Uncle Jim x

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  6. Beautiful words Jo, thanks for sharing them again with us. You are amazing.
    I hope Ella is making those gin & tonics right!!
    Love GAJ xxx

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  7. Beautiful. Ella was obviously a very special person. She was also very lucky to have you as her Mum. Hx

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  8. If there is somewhere we all go in the end, then Ella will now be meeting some very interesting people. I am starting to imagine some of the conversations! Love Rob

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  9. I really wanted to hear your wonderful tribute again, it was very powerful and moving at the funeral but I couldn't remember them all. This is an extraordinary message to Ella and for us. Your words speak to me not only about Ella's place in the scheme of things but also about getting the most of our own lives as our own tribute to the loved ones we have lost.
    Thank you Jo

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  10. Terribly moving at the time, and equally moving now. But don't forget, she'll be sharing her gin and tonics with your Mum, so she (wherever she is, whatever we like to call it) won't be alone.
    xxx

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  11. Jo, Ella had the best mother she could wish for! Thank you for sharing those wonderful words with us.Barbaraxx

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  12. Jo, I wanted to tell you that I started to play on the piano the jazz song "fly me to the moon, [let me play among the stars]" around the time Ella got the bad news in October. Needless to say I always think of Ella when I play that song, and admittedly it is played somewhat more melancholic than some might play it. It did make me smile when I read the last line you wrote for her. I will always think of her when I play it. Hugs. Alexa (as in Alexa and John)

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    1. Thanks Alexa, I love that song but had forgotten about it. So will be adding to my playlists x

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